he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
