I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
