In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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