Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
