there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize