he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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