Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i was born a porn star she said
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
