It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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