I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
