All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
