Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
