Sry I called you an 8
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
