Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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