Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
