do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I think I just sharted jello shots
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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