Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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