this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
