i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize