Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
sarcasm needs its own font
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
