I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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