hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
We had sex on a dog bed..
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
