How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
