apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
