i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
