He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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