just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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