She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
