Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
