You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
