Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
