3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
