If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
