I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
