i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
