my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
