They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
