AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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