just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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