i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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