Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize