You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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