why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
