Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
