Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
