Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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