having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I wear drunk well.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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