she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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