My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
