so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
