i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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