Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Watching her eat just hurts me
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
