He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
That accounts for only three of the penises
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize