We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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