My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
