I'll bet she douches with gravy.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
