Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Barsexuality is the new black.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize