Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
