I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I came so hard my ears popped.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
