I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
