Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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