I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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