he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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