i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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