This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
