dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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