What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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