You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
