More tranny stories later!
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
