well I can't set my house on fire every night
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
