She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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