I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Is it because I queefed?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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