Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize